Some one liners for the day..

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. I'm just driving this way to piss you off. Keep honking, I'm reloading. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I took an IQ test and the results were negative. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.